


In the nick of time

by umiwomitai



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 21:11:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16647863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umiwomitai/pseuds/umiwomitai
Summary: Taeyong has everything he has ever wished for, and even more. A stable job, a wonderful soulmate, a very cute dog, an apartment, and enough love to forget the bad days. Yet, the timer that appears one day on his arm seems to say otherwise.





	In the nick of time

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little different from what I had in mind at first, and not as Taeyong-centric as I wished. But still, I hope the prompter and everyone who reads will enjoy it anyway! This is my first time writing an OT3 so I hope it is decent enough. I also took 3 thousand years to write this, so sorry if it feels a little weird sometimes...
> 
> (English is not my first language and this is only proof-read by me, so please apologise any mistake)

The rain was finally stopping, leaving the ground wet and the air heavy. Summer was around the corner, and not even the sudden showers could stop it from arriving. Taeyong put his hand in front of him, checking whether it was still raining, and left the bus stop. He was walking towards his apartment late at night, eyes tired and legs heavy.

Today had been a long day. Yet, every day had been a long day for so long now Taeyong never bothered to point it out or complain about it. Despite how long the days grew, how tiring they were, he had something to look forward to. Something good. Something comforting. 

The warmth of his own apartment. The comfort of his newly acquired blue velvety couch. The soft sound of music coming from the vintage radio on the counter while he was cooking. The heavy weight of his boyfriend’s head on his lap when they were watching movies together.

He could never remember the exact date he had met Johnny, however he knew perfectly well how it had happened. He had been anxious about this day all week, barely getting any sleep and unable to focus on work. The timer on his wrist was ticking away for this fated meeting, the exact moment his eyes would meet his soulmate’s. He had read so many stories, watched so many movies, listened to so many songs about soulmates. How magical it felt to meet them, to talk to them, to kiss them and hold their hand. Just to have them in your life and feel complete again.

That was how he felt about having Johnny as his boyfriend. Not that everything had been easy at first, far from it. Taeyong was a nice person, but also a shy one, and he found it hard to get close to new people. No one would bother enough to break through his walls and befriend him. Sure, he had his family, his dog, and his best friend Taeil. But they were all constants in his life, pillars on which he had built himself, on which he could rely when things would get tough. But all this wasn’t a  _ soulmate _ . 

Everything was so new with him, nothing like his previous relationships, nothing like he ever thought it would be. It wasn’t smooth and fast, like lightning hitting you right in the face and being all new after this life-changing experience. It was more like a voice pushing him towards him, keeping him close, and whispering to him “go on, it’s worth it”. And yes, it was worth it. Johnny was worth hours of freaking out on his own about what to say or what to wear to a date ; Johnny was worth days of pulled-out hair and screaming in your pillow after sending a risky text ; Johnny was worth countless attempts at being a better version of himself and failing but still trying again and again. 

Johnny was the best thing that had ever happened in his life, and even though it wasn’t easy like a nice stroll along a peaceful beach, it was a beautiful hike and he knew that the view at the top of the mountain would make the way up here seem like it never was. 

Going back home, preparing dinner and then showering, all of that until Johnny would come home and eat with him, was definitely enough to erase the hardships of his everyday life.

 

* * *

 

Hardships, that came along in handfuls sometimes.

It was a regular week day, but thankfully not as busy as the previous ones so he could actually take some time to go and have lunch with Johnny. This was their own thing for the slower days : Taeyong would pick up food on his way to his studio, they would eat together and Johnny would clean up after he left. 

Today was just as any other day. He had ordered take away from a small restaurant he liked, and was on his way to pick it up. The radio was on, there wasn’t too much traffic, and the sky was pretty. He scratched his wrist and looked at his phone while waiting for the light to turn green. Johnny was probably still busy with cleaning after his last photoshoot.

When he entered the studio with a cheery “it’s me!” and two bags in his hands, everything seemed so normal. Johnny’s assistant sitting at her desk eating a salad while on the phone with her boyfriend, distants sounds of Johnny cleaning in the back, and the fuzzy feeling of their new carpet under his feet as he settled at the small table. Johnny sat in front of him after kissing him softly, telling him about his day. Taeyong was listening and eating, rubbing his wrist with his fork absentmindedly as his focus was completely on his boyfriend. 

“Stop scratching it or it’ll hurt even more,” he warned, pulling his hand away from the now bright red wrist.

“Ah, sorry. It’s just itchy today. I’ll put soothing cream on it once I get home.”

“How is it at work since Joyeon left?”

“It sure is different. Wouldn’t say I miss her, though.” Taeyong added with a raised eyebrow.

They kept talking for a while, until Taeyong had to head back to work. Really, looking at how he day was going so far, everything felt so normal. So easy. 

For once, however, Taeyong offered to help with the dishes and, with his sleeves rolled up, he took the plates to the sink. He never meant to drop them halfway and break them, yet this was what happened. 

His eyes couldn’t focus on anything else but this. Everything else was silent, like put on hold. He couldn’t hear the awful sound of plates breaking on the floor. He couldn’t feel Johnny’s hands on his face. He couldn’t hear his voice asking if he was hurt or Yejin asking if they needed help cleaning. He couldn’t even feel his own body breaking down, tears streaming down his face. Everything was fire burning through him, burning his eyes and burning his wrist.

His wrist, where seconds before there was only a red patch he had scratched a little too much, and now displayed in all its glory a brand new timer. 

A new timer, that should have never been here. 

A new timer, that he hated with all his guts.

 

* * *

 

 

“Taeyong, please!”

“No fucking way!”

He dropped his bags on the hallway floor and stormed into the kitchen. His hands were shaking when he filled a glass of water and put it to his lips. Johnny followed him with the groceries bags, and as if he finally understood Taeyong’s words he proceeded to tidy the room in silence. 

It was heavy, clawing at Taeyong’s throat in the worst way, while his heart was pounding and a voice was screaming at him to apologise. At the same time, he felt his wrist burning, and his determination not to wrench the timer from his arm slowly slipping through his fingers. His eyes were fixed on what he could see of the living room from the door and it was an awful sight. Everything was as normal as it always was. A bunch of books sitting on the coffee table, blankets neatly folded on the armrest of their couch, all the green plants on the balcony that Johnny will soon go water, their dog sleeping soundly at the feet of the couch. 

Everything was sitting exactly where it was when he’d left this morning, as usual. And it hurt. And it made him crazy, that all around him remained still and unchanged when his whole world and beliefs were crumbling down. In a matter of seconds, something as little as a few numbers on the inside of his right arm had crushed and burnt him to the ground, leaving him breathless and helpless. In this moment where Fate was laughing at him and Johnny was merely brushing past him as he moved around the room, he felt lonelier than ever.  

“I can’t do that,” he crowed, and then grew ashamed of how weak he sounded. He still hated showing this side of him to Johnny. 

“Taeyong, babe…”

Johnny put aside the box of rose and strawberry tea he was supposed to set inside the cupboard and walked over to him to take his hands in his.

“This isn’t something you have to go through alone, ok?”

“But… Why don’t you have one? Why does it have to be me? I already have you, Johnny, and I-,” he breathed in as much as he could and threw his head back to hold in the tears. “I love you. You’re mine, I’m yours, and that won’t ever change. That isn’t  _ supposed  _ to change. It was already so hard to settle down, and now I’m happy with you and everything we built together, but it’s getting sweeped away from me again. I’m so scared Johnny.”

Eventually, he broke down between his arms, sobs shaking him up more than ever. He kept mumbling his fears and anger to the other man who stood here, holding him up tightly against his chest, taking in the reality of the situation.

So this was what it meant to Taeyong. But what did it mean to him? 

Was he supposed to let Taeyong go? Was he supposed to watch and do nothing? Or was he supposed to fight this other soulmate and show how he’s loved him all along and can’t let just anyone take his baby away? Was he supposed to keep him all to himself because he was his original soulmate?

Truth was, beyond the whole soulmate concept, he was truly and irremediably in love with Taeyong. It was impossible, he couldn’t have stopped loving him even if he wanted to, and he didn’t even want to. Truth was, Taeyong had become his habits and all the little enjoyable things in his life. Truth was, he didn’t want to imagine a future without him when a future with him was all he had been thinking about since they met. 

Truth was, the thought of him leaving was foreign to him as he wasn’t ever fated to leave his side. 

“We’ll work it out, baby. I hate it as much as you do but you can’t stop it. We’ll get through it together so let’s wait until you meet this person and make a decision with them. Does that seem right for you?”

With a tight throat and a shivering voice, Taeyong agreed. 

“It still feels wrong but we don’t have much choice anyway.”

And maybe that’s what he hated the most about soulmates: where was the possibility of choosing in this?

 

* * *

 

Choice, he didn’t have it anymore. 

Today was the day. He had thought about not going out at all and avoid meeting this person at all cost. But Fate was smart and cruel. Today was an important day at work and his team had to travel all the way across the country for the filming of their upcoming big documentary about the situation of the local fauna in the southern part of the country. With the rest of his team, he had been working on this for weeks, and they were finally allowed to go on the site and do more in-depth research to collect as much material as needed. 

As part of the filming team, he couldn’t drop out or pretend he was sick. Sure, he hated this day more than anything else in the world, but this project was crucial for them all and he couldn’t possibly throw away such an amount of work and efforts for something as petty and personal. 

So here he was, on the train taking them all to the site, biting his nails off. Luckily, his stressed-out self was a common sight for his teammates and everyone assumed that the filming so far away from their usual working field was what turned him into a ball of nerves. They weren’t wrong, in some way, but still so far from the reality.

Johnny had convinced him that everything would be fine. Together, they had prepared everything that he’d have to talk about with this person, and the words had been running around his mind ever since. It was settled, planned, nothing could go wrong.

Convinced by his own thoughts, Taeyong went through his day working as dutifully as ever, never once stopping to look at the timer on his wrist. When break time arrived late in the afternoon, he thanked everyone and grabbed a bottle of water before heading for the building not far from there. 

They were talking with researchers and had been invited to visit the research center. There, he asked for the direction and thanked the security guard. Once in the bathroom, he sat down on the counter, head in his hands. This had been a very tiring day, barely taking time for himself. He was feeling hungry and all his muscles hurt. His phone rang when someone else came in, so he hopped off the counter and turned around to take the call.

“Yeah? Sure, ask Minsu, she must have kept it with her. I have one with me, if you don’t find her I’ll come in a few minutes alright?”

The call ended quickly, and he finally noticed the other man was looking at him with a piercing gaze. Embarrassed, he bowed slightly and, bottle in hand, he left the bathroom. He found a few spare seats near the entrance and sat down there. He answered Johnny’s text and used all the determination he had left not to look down at his wrist. He didn’t want to know how much time he had left before life as he knew it would take a completely different turn.

He didn’t feel someone sit next to him so when he opened his eyes again and bent down to grad his water bottle, he bumped his elbow in the other person’s side. He turned immediately to apologise but was left voiceless. 

The man sitting there looked way more tired than he thought possible. His black hair resembled a bird’s nest and the fact that he kept rushing his hands through it probably didn’t help. However, he was wearing a smile through his frowning face, which resulted in a very funny mix that could have made Taeyong laugh if he didn’t know better.

But he did. He knew that this wasn’t to be made fun of. He knew that this man had probably had a long day, or rather long days. He knew that the familiar itch on his wrist wasn’t innocuous. He knew that there, in front of his own eyes, was the man that he wanted to despise more than anyone else he had ever met before. 

“Could you please be careful?”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Taeyong straightened up and looked at the man carefully a little more. He was wearing a cheap shirt with sleeves rolled up, worn-out blue jeans and a pair of common sneakers. He had a silver ring on his right hand that he doubted was really silver, and a name tag hanging around his neck, along with his glasses folded in his shirt pocket. 

“Kim Dongyoung.”

“Congrats, you know how to read.”

“Hm…” Taeyong hesitated, slightly bothered by the cold tone of his voice, before handing out his hand. “I’m Lee Taeyong.”

“Thanks, I know how to read too.” Dongyoung observed with a quick glance at Taeyong’s chest.

Right. He had forgotten he was wearing a name tag too. He watched as the man sighed and grabbed his glasses to put them on. He looked a little less tired like this. Taeyong took the opportunity to shake himself up and started again, this time fiercer and assured. 

“I’m Lee Taeyong, and I suppose you’re aware we were meant to meet today.”

“Indeed.”

“I’m going to be honest with you, Dongyoung, I already have someone.”

Dongyoung looked at him right in the eyes and raised his eyebrows.

“Well, that happens.”

“No. I mean, I already have a soulmate.” He fished his phone from his jeans pocket and opened it to reveal his home screen wallpaper: a picture of Johnny and him. “This is my soulmate, Johnny.”

 

* * *

 

 

To be fair, Dongyoung had never been very interested in soulmates. 

The fever that surrounded the phenomenon had remained faraway, like a concept he couldn’t really completely grasp, or the image of something that disappeared if he tried to reach for it. The reflection of people’s despair to be bound to someone and not live their whole life alone, searching for something that might never come to them. 

His parents, as far as he knew, never met their soulmates. They had found each other nonetheless and had built a family together. Maybe that contributed to the lack of appeal the idea created in Dongyoung’s mind. For sure, when he reached his sixteenth birthday and saw a broken timer appear on his wrist, his beliefs grew stronger than ever.

_ This is utter bullshit.  _

He had spent 27 years of his life like this, seeing everyone around him meeting their soulmate, and perhaps he had grown bitter over time but he would never admit it. He wasn’t unhappy after all. He travelled a lot thanks to his job and had had multiple opportunities to improve and flourish. He had his family by his side and a few wonderful friends. He was healthy enough and outgoing, appreciated by his colleagues and admired by his interns. Sometimes, when he was at home on his own, eating heated up leftovers and watching the same re-run of the same stupid TV show, he felt lonely. Maybe that was what he was bound to feel after all. It felt as if he was allowed to spend the day on a big island full of happy people but had to go back to his small desert island at night, never allowed to bring anyone along. 

One night stands were out of the equation. He wasn’t interested in the fake fragile comfort it brought him, and if he was fated to never feel love’s warmth at all, then so be it. 

So be it.

He had said those words so many times with a smile on his face or sarcastic tone in his voice. Yet, when one morning he woke up in his hotel bed and found out his timer was actually working, he hadn’t had to strength to pronounce them. 

A soulmate. For him.

So somewhere, somehow, someone was fated for him. Days would go by, and then he’d meet that person that would make his world brighter and his shoulders lighter. He hated to say it, but his guts were warm at the thought. However, he didn’t tell his friends. He wasn’t really sure why, but he wanted to be sure that his soulmate wouldn’t be some kind of terrible joke to make him feel even more like a fool.

A fool, now he was sure he was one.

This little guy, Lee Taeyong, looked absolutely adorable. He had seen him sit down from outside the building and had taken a few seconds to watch him. He seemed quite small but cheery and dynamic. His clothes were formal enough to tell he was here for work. Dongyoung had seen a bunch of people around with cameras, he assumed he was one of them. 

When he sat down next to him, he realised he hadn’t really thought this through. No one had ever told him how to react when you met your soulmate. He wasn’t supposed to meet his, after all. So he remained still, not managing to tame his usual sarcastic answers to make himself seem nicer than he really was.

Maybe he had been right all along. Maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe he should have known that someone like him couldn’t possibly be granted the pleasure of having someone just for him. It would have spared him the excruciating pain in his stomach when he saw, with his own two eyes, the picture of this other man.

Johnny. Clearly handsome, tall and built, beautiful smile and smooth hair, amazing style and probably a perfectly clear skin. He looked like out of a dream. With his cheap clothes, terrible hair and I-sleep-just-three-hours-a-week tired face, Dongyoung couldn’t possibly compete. 

“Oh.” was all that left his mouth, astounded. 

“A few days ago, my timer started counting again. I don’t know how and I don’t know why, and I don’t think you know more than I do.”

“Mine was broken. It had always been. I thought… I spent all my life thinking I’d just end up alone. I guess I was just as surprised as you.”

Taeyong looked at him weirdly before laughing a little. The sound was light, yet clearly sarcastic. 

“Surprised is quite an understatement here. Still,” he stopped to search in his pockets, and Dongyoung watched him intently as he gave him a small piece of paper. “I’m only here for work, and I don’t have much time to talk about this situation. But here’s my number and my address. Come by one day so we can talk this through, ok? There is also Johnny’s number just in case, he has more free time than I do so if I don’t answer, hit him up.”

With a confident nod and professional smile, Taeyong rose from his sit and bowed before him. 

“I’m sorry this is such a weird meet up. I really hope we’ll sort this out quickly. Have a good evening.”

And just like that, he left the building. If Dongyoung had anyone to tell this about, he would have this said this encounter was out of the world, almost like it was just a dream for him. 

Maybe it was. 

But the bitter feeling at the back of throat was real. The lump in his lungs when he would breathe in was real. The itch of tears on the brim of his eyes was real. The feeling of his stomach turning upside down was real. The voice telling him he was a complete fool for falling so easily was more real than any sound around him and he wanted to throw up. 

He wanted to run away and cry his heart out and sleep for three thousand centuries until the image of Taeyong’s stupidly beautiful face was completely erased from his mind. He wanted to believe that his eyes hadn’t pleaded Taeyong to stay and explain some more because he was feeling so lost and lonely. But they had. 

He was really sitting here, in the beat-down chair of some common research lab in a city he’d never visited until today, feeling used and played and more stupid than he’d ever felt. He could almost hear Jaehyun’s voice in his head mocking him for being so gullible. 

_ Way to go, lad. _

 

* * *

 

 

Taeyong had remained as silent and distant as possible for the rest of the day. He was trying not to dwell on his feelings too much, focusing on work and coordinating his teammates, but the memory of the look Dongyoung had given just before he had turned away was haunting him. It was too much of a sight to forget it so easily. 

It was haunting him, and he had almost never wanted to apologise and go back in time more than today. On the way back home, it had taken all of his willpower not to take his phone and check whether Dongyoung had texted him. He had realised quite fast that he had been an idiot to simply hand in both their numbers but not ask for Dongyoung’s in return. At first, it had seemed pretty logic to both of them, to give him time, space, and the right to decide whether he wanted to invest in this. It had seemed the most human thing to do, actually, because that was Johnny’s idea and he was always the most considerate one of them. 

Now, standing alone in the bathroom while sorting the laundry, soft music coming from the living room and the distant pitter-patter of his dog’s paws on the floor, he regretted that decision. His mind was rushing, contemplating every other way this encounter could have gone, and every single one seemed better than the cold professional tone he had used with his soulmate.

_ Your soulmate, for fuck’s sake Taeyong! _

He was biting his fingernails off while contemplating which program to use on the washing machine when Johnny came back home. Their dog greeted him, and just like always, Johnny hugged him and started telling him about his day. Usually, Taeyong would find it endearing, but today he could only watch from the corner, fingertip still in between his teeth, more anxious than ever.

“Hey baby. You’re fine?”

“Do you think he hates me?”

“Pepper? That’s silly, he loves you.”

“Not the dog, Johnny. I’m talking about Dongyoung.”

He followed his boyfriend to the bedroom, watching him put his coat away in the closet. He was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a confused smile.

“Dongyoung? Is he the new intern?”

“No, that’s Donghyuck, and he’s perfectly fine. Dongyoung is… my soulmate.”

“Oh.”

Taeyong hated the silence that invaded the room after this simple answer. He hated all the silences Johnny would create and let settle over them whenever Taeyong blurted out the truth. It was his way of choosing his words but he wished sometimes that he would just get angry and yell at him. He was better at dealing with raw feelings than with delicate sentences and concealed emotions. 

“How was it? Meeting him.”

“It was a complete disaster,” he complained, gaze dropping in shame. “It’s a miracle if he ever calls any of us.”

“Come on, babe, I know you, it can’t be that awful.”

Taeyong raised his head to look at him, face contorted in a constipated expression, shameful, sorry and anxious all at the same time. He saw Johnny repress a smile and then reach for his hand to make him sit on the couch next to him.

“Tell me about it.”

“I swear I did as we planned, but… maybe I shouldn’t have, you know? He looked… He looked so sad and lonely, and maybe a little broken inside too. He was so cold at first, so I tried my best and just quickly said I already had you as my soulmate and that we could talk it out another day. But I can’t help feel like I did something wrong.”

“It’s ok, sweetie. Just remember that the situation is tricky for him too, alright? He probably didn’t expect his soulmate to have another soulmate too.”

“You’re probably right…” Taeyong muttered under his breath, but he couldn’t quite shake off the uneasy feeling that had settled inside him. “Still, I wish I did something more. I feel like he needed help. Trust me when I say I almost stayed with him instead of leaving.”

He didn’t dare admit more of his feelings, because he hadn’t quite deciphered yet whether it was betraying Johnny to feel like hugging another man. Because yes, he would have hugged him with all his strength and love just to see this heartbroken look leave his face. He would have used all the words he knew of just to let Dongyoung know he never meant for this situation to happen. He never meant for this timer to appear and blow away his peaceful life. He never meant to add another person in the mess of his feelings. He never meant to feel bound to him in the same way he felt bound to Johnny and be completely wrecked over the duality of his feelings. 

He never meant all of this to happen but still felt like he should be the one to fix it all. It made absolutely no sense. 

“I want to help him, Johnny. It’s completely crazy and I hate that I feel this way, because… because you’re my only one,” he choked out with great difficulty, guilt smothering his voice. “And I love only you, but he’s here looking like this, probably because of me, and I feel like I should be doing something. I could be doing something. I want to,” he added more firmly, looking up at the sweet brown eyes looking over him ever so softly. 

“Hey, it’s fine, Yongie. He’s your soulmate, after all.”

Suddenly, he wanted to hate this word. It had always been reserved for Johnny, it had always been between them. Soulmate meant Johnny to him, and to hear this word associated with anyone else made him feel sick. He wanted to scream and cry, hate the whole world and Fate, rip away this stupid timer and every memory of Dongyoung that was running around in his head. He wanted to go back in time and never have to meet him, because it was so much easier to hate him when he could pretend he wasn’t a real person. 

“I want to hate him, Johnny. So, so much. But I just can’t, and it hurts. Those feelings are yours, they’re for you, not-”

He never finished this sentence, bursting out into tears at the mere thought of speaking those words for his boyfriend to hear. They got stuck there in his mouth, melting on his tongue and leaving an awful bitter taste of medicine and betrayal. He cried for long minutes, until his eyes were too dry and his mind too tired to find a reason to keep crying. The tears had wet Johnny’s shirt and Taeyong’s cheeks. Pepper was looking at them from his basket, head resting on his front legs tiredly. 

Taeyong straightened his back, wiping away the remnants of tears in his eyelashes, never once daring to look at his boyfriend. 

“We’re both tired, let’s just eat and go to bed.” he said and moved to get up, but Johnny kept him from moving.

“I understand how you’re feeling Taeyong. I get it, and I want you to know I don’t like this situation either. You said it, I’m yours and you’re mine. That’s how it was supposed to be. But we can’t change what happened. If Dongyoung is willing to talk about it, I promise I’ll stay with you through all this.” He stopped to rest a hand against Taeyong’s cheek, softly stroking the red skin in a endearing caress. “We’re in this together, right?”

“Right,” Taeyong breathed against his hand, kissing his palm softly. 

He let himself take in Johnny’s warmth, savouring the mere feeling of having him here, against him, with him. There was a voice inside of him, saying Johnny was right after all. He always was, wise and cool-headed as he was. It was what kept Taeyong from overthinking and crumbling under the weight of stress and responsibilities, of unknown and unpredictable. 

That night he went to sleep feeling heavier than ever, despite Johnny’s comforting embrace around him.

 

* * *

 

 

The wind hit his face as soon as he left the building. It was the kind of cold days that made the tip of his nose and ears turn red, that made him regret not taking his scarf when he left home in the morning. It was the kind of cold days he would rather stay inside and write his articles in front of his computer, sipping cheap coffee from his ceramic cup and feet comfortably buried in his fluffy slippers. 

To think it should have been this kind of day made him regret his decision to leave the warmth of his office. He walked all the way to the small studio a few streets away. He stopped in front of it, looking through the front windows without daring coming in. It was a little after lunch time, but the door was apparently still closed. He had never once noticed this studio hidden between two tall buildings, and somehow, it looked like it had been placed here overnight. 

Suddenly, he felt himself grow anxious at the idea of stepping inside. What if he couldn’t meet up with him? What if he had walked all the way down here for nothing? But mostly, what if he  _ could _ ? Questions started shooting in his mind, and just before he could regret coming up here he gathered what was left of his courage and stepped in. The old-fashioned bell rang when he closed the door behind himself and a young girl came in from the back door, all perfect smile and neat outfit. 

“Hello, Sir. Do you have an appointment?”

He looked at her with a palling face and averted her gaze. He hadn’t even thought of calling beforehand and now he felt like a stupid intern who doesn’t know how to proceed. He walks closer to the counter and hands her his business card.

“I didn’t think about making an appointment. Is that required to meet with Mr Seo?”

“I’m afraid so, Sir. His schedule is full for the upcoming week, so how about next month? Would that be alright for you?”

Dumbly, he nodded and kept looking around. The room looked even more out of place than the outside of the building. Where the facade had looked small and ancient, the interior was simply decorated, nothing too fancy but it was very smart and neat, in a way that suggested that whoever had decorated this place had put thought into it. 

“Kim Dongyoung, for the beginning of next month then. Is that all, Sir?”

Before he had a chance to thank her and excuse himself, a tall man entered the room from a door he hadn’t even noticed. He recognized him immediately as the man on Taeyong’s wallpaper picture. He was indeed just as tall and built he had thought, but his face only looked sympathetic and inviting. He was nicely dressed, not a fold on his perfectly white shirt or well-fitting slacks, which only contrasted ridiculously with how messy his hair was. Long, black locks falling into his eyes, definitely because of too many hands passing through it. 

“Did I hear Kim Dongyoung?”

“It’s me,” he answered through the lump in his throat.

And just like this, Johnny walked forward and shook his hand, inviting him in the studio with a smile and a cheerful “ _ take a break! _ ” thrown at his assistant. 

That was the exact moment Dongyoung thought: I don’t stand a chance.

 

* * *

 

  
  


The steam escaping from his cup of tea was slightly moistening his hand, yet he couldn’t care less. The couch was comfy enough to feel himself sink into it and he could admire every picture hung on the wall in front of him. 

“Taeyong was hoping you’d come to him first,” Johnny said finally in such a conversational tone Dongyoung almost forgot he was talking about his own soulmate. Their soulmate.

“I figured it’d be easier to escape my feelings if I was confronting you first.”

Johnny looked at him over his cup, eyes unreadable yet a small smirk appearing on his face. He looked like a beautiful riddle and Dongyoung was starting to get annoyed. 

“Taeyong is sorry about your meeting, by the way. He said you looked bewildered.”

“It’s a way to put it.”

He was threading around the topic, avoiding it as much as he was talking only about it. Dongyoung started counting down everything he could find about Johnny that was irritating him.

His perfect mouth that was forming a mocking smile. His deep brown unreadable eyes lazily spying at him. The way his fingers were picking at the dead skin of his lips. His smart choice of words. The way he was talking about Taeyong like he was in the same room yet didn’t have his say in the matter. The way he liked to pretend he  _ himself  _ didn’t have his own opinion about the matter. 

Soon enough, his head was full of animosity for him, and it made him feel lighter. Finally, he had a good enough reason to drop it and pretend he had never met his soulmate. Ever. No one knew besides the three of them, and no one needed to know. He was now full of a fake pretense, all smoke and mirrors, made only to persuade himself his feeling didn’t matter.

What feelings?

“He was afraid you’d never show up.”

With a smile, Dongyoung leaned forward and put his cup down on the table between them.

“I didn’t come here to talk about Taeyong, though.”

This managed to take away that awful smile from Johnny’s face, and he mimicked Dongyoung by putting down his cup after him. He straightened up and folded his arms over his chest. Dongyoung could see his skin through the white fabric of his shirt.

“I came to talk with you to know your input in the matter.” 

“My… input?”

“Opinion,” Dongyoung eluded with a vague hand motion. “Where do you stand on this?”

Just as he expected, Johnny’s face hardened and his hands curled up into fists.  _ Touché _ . 

“If you want to know the truth, then so be it but don’t come crying because it isn’t what you wanted to hear. Taeyong is my soulmate, we met years ago, and I was alone when I had to break through his walls. I was alone when he left me on read for days because he was too self-conscious. I was alone when he bailed out on our first date. He was my soulmate but he never made it easy for me. And then you arrive and make everything I built crumble down in a day. He was once again the immature and terrified Taeyong I first met. I know you didn’t mean for any of it, and I know Taeyong desperately wants to be nice to you and help because God, do you look lonely and sad.” Dongyoung frowned at this, but Johnny kept talking. “But I hate it. I hate that you’re here and it’s so easy for you. I hate that Taeyong wants to do something for you. And I hate that I can’t hate you because Taeyong is right, like always. You look lonely and broken inside and that stupidly cold facade you keep up isn’t fooling anyone.”

Dongyoung finally released his breath, eyes watering slowly at the sudden intake of air. It was unexpected, to say the least, and his hands were almost shaking. He was feeling even more lost than before, and a quick look at the other man told him that he was shaking just as much.

“I… wasn’t expecting that,” he said with a cracking voice. 

“Me neither,” Johnny admitted in a breath.

“So you agree with whatever Taeyong has in mind?”

Johnny took a few more minutes to gather his thoughts and then locked his eyes in Dongyoung’s. This time, they were full of turmoil, which wasn’t any more helpful than the blank look from before.

“I stand with him. But I want you to know that I don’t hate you, nor ressent you. You look like an amazing guy and if Taeyong decides to trust you then I’m more than willing to do so.”

This confession left a weird taste on Dongyoung’s tongue, and when he left the studio just minutes after to go back to work, he still didn’t know what to think of it. Well. Maybe he needed someone to know about it all, now.

 

* * *

 

 

When he arrived home that night, he didn’t bother to turn on the light. He had eaten out like every day but he still needed to take a shower. Yet his limbs were heavier than ever at the thought of having to move any more. He sprawled out face first on his bed and moved just enough to grab his phone from his inside pocket. He looked at it blankly, knowing really well what he had to do but still not finding the will for it. 

He knew already what Jaehyun would say. He could hear his voice in his head, could unroll the whole conversation too and it was slightly annoying how he knew his best friend so well. He unlocked his phone and glared at the picture of the both of them. It reminded him of Taeyong and Johnny’s photo and the thought was what made him open his contacts and find Jaehyun’s number to call him.

Anything to make him forget his longing. 

“Hey Doie! It’s been some time.”

“Yeah.” His voice struggled to sound normal. 

“You’re fine?”

He let the silence draw as long as possible as he failed to find the right words. Quite ironic for a journalist. 

“Hey, is something wrong?”

“I found my soulmate,” he said finally, because there wasn’t really any other way to put it. He felt the words roll off his tongue and leave a metallic taste, not exactly blood but not different enough to say it wasn’t. Suddenly, he was feeling like throwing up just as he heard his friend’s voice perk up in joy. 

“What, for real? Dude, that’s amazing! I thought your timer was broken?”

“It was. It started working during my last business trip.”

“You should have told me!” and this little sentence made him smile nonetheless, because that’s just how Jaehyun was. Too invested in his friends’ life, too nice, too perfect. “Who is it?”

“That’s the thing. His name is Taeyong and he already has a soulmate.”

That was it. The truth was out.

He heard a commotion sound on the other side and some shuffling before Jaehyun’s voice reached him again.

“Tell me that again?”

Dongyoung sighed, knowing he had heard perfectly well. 

“He met his soulmate already a few years ago and has been with him ever since.”

This time, his tone was bitter and sad, and he hated he was pouring out his feelings so easily. On Jaehyun especially. 

“Is that even a thing?”

He ran a hand through his hair, chewing his lips. The conversation would get longer than he had thought, apparently. 

“Seems like it.”

“That’s a mess, dude.” A door closed, steps on the pavement, then the car door. “So…”

“Well. When I saw him, he told me the truth, gave me his and his soulmate’s business cards and told me to contact them if I ever wanted to engage in… whatever this is.”

“Did you?” Jaehyun asked, probably just wondering out loud while driving. That was a thing Dongyoung hated, how he would always be on the phone while driving. Not having the phone in his hands didn’t mean he wasn’t focused on the call. 

“Yeah. I went to see his soulmate today. I thought it’d be easier to backtrack if I didn’t have my own soulmate in front of me.”

“And was it?”

The question resonated in the room, silence settling down just after. He had put the speakers on to get prepared for the night. 

“No. This guy is… It’s weird. Because Taeyong is quite small and nice, very cute and everything on his face screams he’s so considerate. But Johnny is… Well fuck, he’s my type.”

“That’s a problem. But you said Johnny?”

“Yup. He’s Taeyong soulmate. A photographer, apparently.”

“And part-time radio host.”

The silence this time was only dumbfounded, and Dongyoung made sure to wipe all the toothpaste on his face before taking his phone in his hands again.

“You know him?”

“Yes. He’s the guy I’m gonna work with for my new show. He’s totally your type.”

“Thanks, I’m aware.”

He was back in his bed, laying under the covers. Jaehyun would be home soon and would have to end the phone call. He knew his schedule by heart and it stung to remember he used to be so invested in his life to the point of knowing him so well. It stung even more to remember it used to be reciprocated. 

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know. I feel those soulmate things for Taeyong, but he has someone already and I bet he is torn as fuck. But at the same time, Johnny is so understanding and so in love that he’s willing to do whatever Taeyong decides to go with. And I’d totally bang him if I could. That’s so fucking weird, Jae.”

That was the thing about his relationship with Jaehyun. Everything needed to be exaggerated and forced when he was telling him, or he would never take him seriously. Sometimes he hated this, hated him and hated himself for indulging. Other times, it was just simple. After all these years, the image Jaehyun had of him was just a disgusting reflection of whatever he had been willing to share. Jaehyun was his best friend, but mostly by default. Because he was his only friend, sure, but especially because Jaehyun could never be more.  _ Might as well let him think I am someone else.  _

“I bet yeah, you barely ever swear so much.”

“Yeah.” He breathed in, closing his eyes. Another lie. “It’s just… I never thought I’d have a soulmate, and now, in not even two weeks I find myself with a soulmate and the very strong want to kiss my soulmate’s soulmate. That’s the weirdest situation I’ve ever been in.”

“It says a lot,” Jaehyun joked for a moment, before turning off the ignition. “Listen, Doie. I think you should meet up with that Taeyong guy. Or maybe the three of you should. Whatever. This is a talking-it-out kind of situation, and I know you hate it so please, promise me you won’t bail out.”

The weight of his covers was making him fall asleep a little. The clock on the wall was slowly ticking away, filling up the room with just the little sounds of the hands moving. He was feeling small, smaller than Taeyong, smaller than Johnny had made him feel, but somehow, bigger than he had ever felt in Jaehyun’s presence, and it was such an odd feeling he didn’t know what to do with himself. So he just sighed and nodded, before remembering this was just a phone call.

“I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”

“I’ll take that. Sleep well, Doyoung.”

The name resonated in himself, sounding just as foreign as the first time he had heard it. Jaehyun, when he had first met him, had misheard his name and had spent month calling him Doyoung because, in some way, Dongyoung had liked not being himself for once. It was stupid and futile, but he had liked it so much he never had the heart to correct him. Even know, they would laugh about it and Dongyoung could almost persuade himself it didn’t mean anything to him anymore.

Thinking back to Johnny’s smile and Taeyong’s eyes, he allowed himself the foolish but oh so sweet thought that maybe, whatever Jaehyun had meant to him before really didn’t matter anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

The soft classical music was flowing through the speakers in the living room, Taeyong softly humming along. Pepper was sleeping on a chair next to him while he was washing the dishes. Everything seemed calm to the foreign eye, yet his mind had never been busier. 

It was his day off but this week, Johnny hadn’t managed to make their days off match, so he had spent the day taking care of chores. Cleaning, doing laundry, buying groceries, taking Pepper on a long run, sorting their clothes and even putting some order on his laptop. Anything, really, to keep his hands and mind busy. But now that everything was clean and put in place, Pepper sleeping soundly, and Johnny slowly taking a shower, he couldn’t avoid himself anymore.

He jumped out of his thoughts went he felt hands take a knife away from his own. Johnny was smelling like sugar and soft wool, his hair still wet and dripping on his shoulder. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Dongyoung.”

“What about him?” Johnny asked with a soft voice. 

_ What about him _ was the only thing he had been avoiding thinking about all day. Yet, he already knew the answer somewhere deep inside. He had known since he met Dongyoung on that fateful day, but ignoring his own feelings to pretend life was easier this way was his favourite activity. His heart was pounding in his chest and in his head. It was suddenly hard to concentrate, hard to remain calm, hard to keep tears from flowing. 

He didn’t manage to stop them in the end and immediately hid his face in his hands. Unintentionally, more as a defence reflex, he pushed Johnny’s hand away. He was feeling disgusted at himself, and something in his head was screaming at him that Johnny would be right to be disgusted too. 

With great difficulty, he stopped his tears and raised his head to face his boyfriend. Soulmate. 

He couldn’t keep avoiding the reality.

“I love him, Johnny.” 

The words didn’t taste as awful as he thought. Actually, they were sweet enough to be addictive, making him want to say it again. Whisper it in the middle of the night in Dongyoung’s ear. Scream it at the top of his lungs when he’d be feeling like dancing the night away. Hum it softly when he’d feel Dongyoung’s hand slip into his own. 

And he hated it. He hated this timer. He wanted to hate Dongyoung but couldn’t, so instead he hated himself. No one can stop him from doing so.

Except Johnny.

“I know,” he said softly, with this silence in his voice that made Taeyong want to scream at him. 

He held himself back, however, from yelling at him out of spite. He held himself back from breaking down in front of him, because that was it. That was the moment where everything would change for real. Forever. For better, he hoped. 

“I can’t help it. It’s here, and it probably would stay even if I tried to rip it away.”

“I know that too,” he answered just as softly. 

“This will probably sound wild to you, but I’ve been thinking about it for days now, and it’s the only solution I’ve come up with, so…” He breathed in twice, before locking their gazes. “I want us to try something. Together.”

Once again, Taeyong watched as Johnny remained silent in front of him. He watched as realisation dawned upon him, face slowly changing through the emotions. He watched as finally disbelief settled in his eyes.

“All three of us?”

“Yes. I obviously can’t leave you. But Dongyoung is here now, and I feel so bad when I see him so sad. He looks heartbroken. So maybe… maybe we could mend his heart just like you mended mine?”

And maybe Taeyong chose these words on purpose, because he knew Johnny’s weaknesses so well. Johnny was definitely aware of it. It still didn’t stop him from sighing, before taking his hand in his. 

“Fine. I couldn’t have stayed away either,” he admitted, and then added in a breath, face hidden in Taeyong’s hair: “not from him, and not from you. I was so afraid you would leave me for him.”

Taeyong could remember very well the only times he had seen Johnny cry in front of him, because they only amounted to three. Johnny had done his best to protect Taeyong, both from the world and from having to support his weaker side. Somehow, he had forgotten that Johnny could feel insecure about Taeyong’s love, and he realised he had thought about himself only all this time.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I ever let you think that, Johnny. I love you more than everything, I could never. Whatever love I have for him won’t ever change my love for you.”

“I know,” he answered in a shuddered breath. “I’m sorry for doubting you.”

They stayed in each other’s arms for a moment, before Pepper came in the room looking for his food. Then they went on with the rest of their day, the idea slowly growing in their mind. 

What a day.

 

* * *

 

 

The minutes were slowly ticking away on the clock hanged above his desk, ever so slowly; it was a long day. His problem with being hardworking coupled with having insomnia often resulted in working late at night when he couldn’t sleep, and ending up with nothing to write about during the day. He was sitting at his desk, feet propped up on his chair and head leaning against the backrest. His fingers were playing with a pencil, throwing it into the air and catching it at the last moment. Everything in his attitude was screaming “boredom”, yet his latest article was sitting unfinished. 

He couldn’t focus. His mind was all over the place, teeth biting into the soft skin of his already very chapped lips. He had received a call from Taeyong the day before, asking him to meet up with them for lunch at Johnny’s workplace. 

He didn’t know what to do with this information. The underlying truth always escaped from him when he was so close to knowing what that really meant. He wanted to believe it was a good sign. Hope was growing inside of him like a shy flower after a long tough winter. It was a strange feeling for him, to have hope in something he thought was long taken away from him. 

The rational part of him, however, could only see this call as a way to nicely turn him down. After all, Taeyong was in a happy fulfilling relationship with his soulmate, they even had an apartment and a dog. Who in their right mind would throw this away for an unstable, insomniac, poor and self-conscious journalist who had never dated anyone in his ridiculously boring life? The logic answer was  _ no one _ , and despite himself Dongyoung tended to favour logic in most situations. 

Logic, however, was only making him more miserable. Misery was definitely a feeling he was accustomed to, but was tired of. It kept creeping on him, keeping him company in the most despisable way he could think of. 

Taeyong was feeling like a breath of fresh air. Taeyong was like a helping hand picking him up from the ground. Taeyong was like rain showers after a too long summer. Taeyong was new and welcoming, warm and hesitant, soft and firm. He was more than he ever dreamed of, more than he thought he deserved. 

It was foolish to hope he would chose him. But for once, foolish sounded sweet enough to believe in it. 

That was all he thought about until the clock struck 1pm and he finally got up, picking up his coat and phone, and left his office. 

He reached Johnny’s studio in a few minutes, resolved to hear whatever they wanted to tell him.

He had thought about this through and through many times. Yet, nothing could have prepared him to the shock of being invited on a date.

“You want me to do what?”

Johnny raised his eyebrows at him, smirking, while Taeyong was rubbing his hands together out of nervousness. He straightened his back and looked at Dongyoung once again.

“I thought about it. Johnny agrees on it too. We want you in our life, if that’s fine for you.”

“It’s… It’s not really what I imagined.”

Taeyong, sitting in front of him, seemed to shrunk back. He was looking smaller than ever, eyes continuously moving and hands in a knot. He was expectant of Dongyoung’s answer, and Dongyoung suddenly realised he was given the choice.

He was the one to decide whether he could keep his soulmate in his life.

And now that things were in his power, everything was transformed. He had never thought about having a soulmate, or even so, just a relationship. The closest he had even been to feeling love was a messy kiss exchanged with a very drunk Jaehyun who had totally forgotten it the day after. It wasn’t the kind of experience you could brag about. He had never thought of dating anyone, and hadn’t allowed his heart to fall for anyone else.

Because being in love with his best friend had some kind of tragic feeling he had grown to appreciate. They weren’t fated, and in a way, he liked to think that maybe, in another life, he could have lived  _ happily ever after  _ with Jaehyun. 

Now, he was presented with another option. A new one. A perspective in which he had a soulmate. And yes, sure, his soulmate already had another one, and they’d have to navigate through this weird relationship with more precaution than with any other. Dongyoung knew nothing more than what books and movies taught him about dating one person, and he knew even less about dating two at the same time. 

But he thought of Jaehyun for a moment. Jaehyun who had been there for a long time. Jaehyun who had held him through nights of anxiety. Jaehyun who had cheered for him on exams. Jaehyun, who had someone waiting for him to go back home. Jaehyun, who in all his glory, had plans for his future than couldn’t involve Dongyoung. 

So he allowed himself to think about him one last time, before looking at Taeyong with a soft smile and saying:

“That would be a pleasure.”

 

* * *

 

 

His hair was sticking in all kinds of way and his cheek still had the mark of the sheets when he woke up that morning. He could barely register that he had actually fell asleep at some point during the night when the continuous ringing of his phone made him wince. He had to answer. He reached out from under the covers and swiped on his phone, then turning on the speakers.

“Hello?” he croaked, voice still full of sleep.

“Oh. Am I waking you up?”

Johnny.  _ Fuck,  _ it was date day. Dongyoung sat up in his bed, glazed over eyes pacing around the room. His glasses were lost somewhere between his sheets, his laptop was still open next to his bed and had probably run out of battery, and he was still wearing his shirt with sweatpants. He was feeling sweaty, gross and sleepy. 

“Yeah…”

“Sorry. Taeyong was actually worried about a few things and he won’t stop until I actually ask you.”

“No, it’s fine. I barely sleep anyway.”

He groaned as he got up, getting rid of his tangled sheets as he was heading for the bathroom. He put his phone against his ear with his shoulder while preparing his toothbrush. 

“Any food allergies?”

“No. I just don’t like pickles.”

“Noted. Allergic to dogs?”

“Never ate one.”

He heard Johnny snort and a faint sound of barking. He could remember Taeyong mentioning their dog with fondness in both his voice and eyes. 

“Good, we’re definitely not eating Pepper.”

“I don’t mind spicy food though.”

It was weird, somehow, to hear anyone who wasn’t Jaehyun or the too-polite interns laugh at his stupid jokes. He was liking it a little too much, how sincere Johnny’s laugh was. He wanted to hear it as much as possible. This was also a very odd feeling to Dongyoung, one he’d love to get used to.

“Bring a sweater, it might get cold later today. It shouldn’t rain, but we never know, so take an umbrella too. And I guess that’s it,” he heard Johnny say in a cheerful tone. 

Dongyoung stood there for a moment, alone in his bathroom. His reflection on the small mirror on the wall looked awful. It was hard to process that he was going on a date today; his first date. It was even harder to process that he would go on a date with two men, that were already together. He scoffed slightly and went to his closet to take out his clothes.

“I’ll remember the sweater. Hm…” he paused a little, hesitating, before going on with his first idea. “What should I wear?”

“I don’t know. Yongie? What should he wear?”

He felt his stomach get warmer at the sound of Taeyong’s voice, even though he didn’t understand any of the words he said. 

“Something you’d wear on a date.”

Dongyoung bit his lower lip, frowning at the neat piles of clothes.

“Yeah, uh, well… I’ve never been on a date… So, something casual?”

He hated the silence that followed this, but tried very hard not to dwell on this. This day was already stressful enough. 

“Yeah, casual’s just fine. It’ll be alright, ok? We’re just going for a picnic somewhere nice. I know Taeyong is stressed out and makes it seem like it’s a big thing, but see it just like any hang out ok?”

Dongyoung didn’t have the heart to admit that he hadn’t been on many hang outs in his life, especially recently. He would only go out with Jaehyun and his soulmate, which couldn’t be compared to a date. Or at least, nothing Dongyoung wanted to associate with a date. 

Going out with Jaehyun was miserable, sad, forcing him to always be defensive and on edge. He didn’t want his date to be any of this. Taeyong wanted it to perfect, and so did he. He was still so afraid to hear them say it was all a joke in the end that he was feeling like he was walking on eggshells. w

“I’ll try to remember that. Thanks, Johnny.”

“Don’t thank me. I want you to feel welcome and at ease too.”

Dongyoung only hummed at this, and let Johnny hang up on him. He grabbed his clothes, his towel, and went to take a shower, those words going round and round in his head.

_ Ease.  _ Maybe that was this odd feeling settling in his chest.

 

* * *

 

 

After a shower, two coffees, three mental breakdowns and too many walks around his flat to find his umbrella, Dongyoung was finally as ready as he could be. Which only meant dressed up, because he wasn’t near mentally ready for this day to happen. He would have cancelled already if it wasn’t involving two other people way too invested in this. He thought of Taeyong, preparing food and doing all he could to prevent anything to go wrong. He thought of Johnny’s laugh and reassuring words. 

Then he thought of himself. Who had never gone on a date because no one had ever bothered asking. Who had been hopelessly in love with his best friend for years without any hope of moving on. Who had dreamed of having a soulmate despite all the times he had pretended he hadn’t. Who had wanted to just have someone, anyone, be interested in him genuinely. 

Somehow, he had both now. How could he refuse?

He stepped into the car when it stopped in front of him, greeting them with a smile and an awkward laugh. Johnny was driving, Taeyong next to him, and on the only seat left was Pepper, sleeping soundly. 

“We’re going to the lake so we brought him. I hope you don’t mind.”

With a fond smile Dongyoung couldn’t hold back, he looked at Taeyong before answering:

“Absolutely not.”

 

* * *

 

 

The wind was slightly blowing through the leaves, drawing patterns on the water. Johnny’s eyes were lost in the horizon, while Taeyong had gone back to the car to bring blankets. Pepper was sleeping once again on Dongyoung’s lap after they had played near the water.

Dongyoung couldn’t really remember having so much fun on a hang out, and he couldn’t quite point out what exactly was making him feel like this. The homemade food. The place. The caress of the setting sun on his face. Taeyong’s sparkling eyes when he would make him laugh. Johnny’s heartwarming laughter and big hand on his arm. Pepper’s adorable barks and licks when they had played. All of this at the same time. 

He was feeling ridiculously happy, almost delirious, and couldn’t hold back his biggest smile when Taeyong handed him one side of the blankets. 

“Better now, Yongie?”

“Hm.”

“I’m curious about something,” Dongyoung said after a short silent, confident enough to ask questions.

“What?”

“It’s just… we don’t really know each other, right? I just want to hear random things about you two.”

He blushed a little and buried his face in Pepper’s fur in hope they wouldn’t notice. 

“Well,” started Johnny. “I used to play basketball in middle school just because I was tall, but actually was terrible at it so I ended up being benched for the rest of the year.”

“I used to be afraid of dogs,” Taeyong followed happily, “until my sister brought a stray home and I had to take care of it.”

Dongyoung felt them look at him, and started searching for things to say about him that could be interesting enough.

“I wanted to be a singer before starting university.”

“Why did you change your mind?” Taeyong couldn’t help but ask, eyes full of wonder. 

“Lack of confidence. My teacher kept telling to try, but she was the only one supporting me so I gave up. I like being a journalist though, so it’s fine.”

They went on like this for a while, laughing at the funny stories and holding hands through the sadder ones. They ended up laughing to tears, all cuddled together, with the sun now long gone. 

“Oh I have one!” Taeyong said, perking up. “That one time in high school I was so sick I actually thought we were Monday instead of Sunday. I had a big presentation on that day so I struggled to get dressed, eat something, and then ride my bike to school, only to find out everything was closed because it was Sunday and I could have stayed home. My mom never let me live this down.”

“I bet yeah.”

The mood was just perfect at this moment. This was probably why Dongyoung felt comfortable enough to say:

“I’m in love with my best friend.”

The silence that followed was very Johnny-like, piercing through their hearts and weighing on their lungs. Dongyoung wanted to hit himself for ruining the moment like this, but changed his mind when Taeyong’s hand tightened around his own as Johnny’s arm was doing the same around his waist. 

“Jaehyun?” he asked softly.

“Yeah. It’s… it’s stupid really. But we were 16, and he was the school’s handsome boy, all the girls swooning around him. Some people placed bets on who would be his soulmate even though it was stupid. His timer was set on 6 years from then, and all my brain could think about was how it left us 6 long years to spend together. And I fell in love. Despite everything. Then time passed us by, he met his soulmate, and I still couldn’t move on.”

“It’s sad, Dongyoung.”

“I know. I’m done crying about it, now. I…”

He stopped there for a moment, looking at what he could see of the lake, then turning to the two men next to him. Johnny was holding him tight, with Taeyong pressed against his chest. Both their hands were laying on Dongyoung’s lap as Johnny was playing with their fingers. 

“I want to move on.”

These mere words held more powers than any he had ever dared to say, and he was terrified. His heart was trying to escape his chest, beating hard against his skull too. He wondered if it was this hard for everyone else, or only when you didn’t have the guarantee that soulmates brought to be sure you wouldn’t be rejected. 

“You’ll get there, Dongyoung,” Taeyong said in a breath.

Then, giving him more hope than he thought he could bare, Johnny added:

“We’ll get there.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dongyoung had never thought much of kissing. 

He wasn’t completely ignorant about it, however. He had kissed his fair share of people, even if it mostly happened during parties, or while drunk. Even both, sometimes. He had kissed a few girls, he had kissed a few boys, he had even kissed Jaehyun once because they had lost a bet. Yet, he had to admit he wasn’t particularly fond of it. 

Through the years, he had established multiple reasons to explain his lack of interest towards kissing ; the major one was always that he had never been in love with anyone to feel anything. Or, if he had to be honest, that no one actually cared about him enough to put much thought into their kisses. 

Maybe that was what had made Jaehyun so special to him. Jaehyun, even drunk, had remained the best kiss he’d had until Taeyong kissed him for the first time. 

Taeyong was, for how little he knew of him, a very considerate person, delicate and mindful in every single one of his words and moves. With Dongyoung, he has been all of this and even more. He’d tried every single second to make him understand his intentions while still being careful about Dongyoung’s own feelings. It had been the same with their kiss. 

It had been during somewhere after their fifth date all together. 

Dongyoung was staying over at their apartment that night as the play they had seen that night had ended very late. They had all dressed overly fancy just for the sake of it, because Dongyoung had joked about how he had always wanted to show up at the theatre to see a play in a proper outfit. Just as they expected, they had been overdressed but had simply laughed it off, and had enjoyed the play just the same. On their way back home, Taeyong was truly overjoyed, holding Dongyoung’s and Johnny’s hands, swinging them as they walked. 

On the way home, they had stopped at a food truck to pick up some food. Dongyoung was distracted munching on his food, too obsessed by the giddy feeling Taeyong’s hand was giving him. He had ended up with crumbs on his lips, and just as anyone else would have done, Taeyong had grabbed his neck and kissed it off. 

This had wreaked havoc in Dongyoung’s head, not being able to speak for the rest of the way home. It was useless to mention that Johnny inviting him to sleep with them in their bed hadn’t helped him calm down. The next morning, waking up hazy and too warm, he had realised what this all meant. Taeyong kissing him and blushing just after. Johnny back-hugging him and kissing his neck as he was washing his teeth. Having his own toothbrush in their bathroom. Taking Pepper on walks when he had enough time to do it, and not just because the other two couldn’t. Going on dates with either of them, or both, just like any couple he could see on the streets. Sleeping in the same bed wearing Taeyong’s pajamas while snuggling in Johnny’s arms. 

It meant that he had found more than he’d ever had. He had found love, and a home he ached to go back to. 

He woke up from his evening nap in a mess, slightly sweaty from having slept with his hoodie on. He got up, put his slippers on and left the room to join Johnny and Taeyong in the living room. He stopped at the corner, watching. 

They were cuddled on the couch, whispering probably not to wake him up as Johnny was telling a story about his latest radio show. The kettle in the kitchen went off and Taeyong got up, smiling as he noticed Dongyoung standing there. Dongyoung smiled back at him and went to settle on Johnny’s other side. 

“Hey sleepy-head. Better now?”

“Hm.”

His relationship with Johnny was an odd one, to say the least. Sometimes, he still couldn’t fathom him quite properly enough, ending up at a loss for words more often than not. He failed to understand why and how Johnny had ended up having such feelings for him. But he had learned one day that it didn’t always do good to look into things he couldn’t understand, so he had decided to simply go with it. It was going fine so far anyway. 

He smiled at Johnny too and kissed his cheek, blushing once again when Johnny kissed his lips in return. Taeyong came back with a tray full of biscuits and three cups of piping hot tea. Dongyoung welcomed it with a smile and a “ _ thank you _ ”. It was the domesticity he still struggled to get used to, but at the same time couldn’t get enough of. He was longing for this intensity, this warmth, this overflowing amount of love so much he could sometimes feel tears start to fall. 

He was in love with two wonderful men that had welcomed him despite everything, and even if it still was feeling like a dream, he was determined to keep living this dream as long as he could. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Until next time, take care!
> 
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